Recently, after two of my girlfriends had attended a Rockies
baseball game, they recounted this scene to me: “Sitting several rows behind us
were a few guys; one of them in particular was the extremely drunk, obnoxious,
ruin your night type. After several innings of annoying but laughable behavior
from this particular guy, he honed in on a little boy sitting in the same
section who (they later learned) had traveled from Nebraska with his family to
catch the Rockies play his favorite team, the Mets. He donned his Mets hat and
was so excited to cheer on his beloved team.” They went on to describe how the
idiot began to taunt and tease the little boy because he was cheering for the
Mets…to the point he made the boy cry! Well, that was the tipping point for his
mom. She whipped around and with her finger pointing and a few choice words, she
laid into this guy and his friends. When she was done, the idiot and his friends
(who’d failed to intervene in his obnoxious behavior) were speechless and the
section was cheering. And that was it. Mama lion had roared.
While I know that it’s pretty common for “mama lion mode” to
kick in when it comes to little cubs (you mom’s know what I’m talking about),
their story got me thinking about the times that I’ve failed to “roar” in my daily
life. More generally, what are the times we women, mothers or not, snooze in
the shade, letting the world capture our attention, make our choices and or
define our focus? Or, what are the times we casually allow ourselves to be swayed
by fear and false beliefs? While we may not consciously choose to snooze, in
the times we don’t roar in defense of the truth we know about Jesus and the
truth we know about how He’s called us, this is what happens.
I’ve recently been reading The Warrior Ethos by Steven
Pressfield. In it, he describes the “making of a warrior”; the combination of
training, mentality and cultural expectations that define a man becoming a warrior,
specifically in Spartan society. An early chapter of the book is entitled ‘Women
First’ and in it, Pressfield explains that Spartan king Leonidas would pick
warriors for battle based not on their prowess but on the courage of their
women. “He chose these specific warriors for the strength of their wives and
mothers to bear up under their loss.” Leonidas knew that if (and more likely
when) his warriors died at battle, the ability of Sparta, and ultimately
Greece, to withstand oncoming onslaughts would be dependent on the strength of
the women left behind. In Leonidas’ mind, the ultimate survival of the whole
depended on the women of Sparta.
I adamantly believe that men play a pivotal role in the
Church, in our families and in our communities (see the Reverse Engineering or
I Am That Man series) and in no way is the strength of the whole riding on
women, as Leonidas’ theory suggests. Men and women together weave the
perfect plan that God has intended. However, I also believe that we women have
sold ourselves short and more times than not, we’ve bought into one of two
things: 1. that as the so-called “weaker sex”, we should seek to overcome our
God-created ways in order to keep up with the “big boys” and thus, have become aggressive
and overly independent, filling the roles and taking the initiative/leadership
that men are called to; or 2. that we indeed, as society tells us, are not worth
much more than our bodies and must seek to constantly live up to the physical
or personality traits that have been deemed identifiers of our worth. Scream! Ladies,
we’ve given in and traded who God created us to be to become pawns of our
degenerative society, tossed around, aimless and clinging to most anything BUT
the truth of Jesus! We’ve taken our buckets to the wrong well (see the Jack and
Jill series) and we’ve sold ourselves short. What is the world telling you to
“be”? Be stronger? Be more attractive? Be more aggressive? Be more dependent?
More independent? We weren’t created to live in the shadows, bouncing through
life trying to achieve the unattainable. So why do we buy the lie that we’re
supposed to? A reprogramming of sorts is in order. We are different, on
purpose. Our goals, our roles, our targets are to be different. In his essay A Vision of Biblical Complementarity,
John Piper writes that biblically, “differentiated roles for men and women are
never traced back to the fall of man and woman into sin. Rather, the foundation
of this differentiation is traced back to the way things were in Eden before
sin warped our relationships. Differentiated roles were corrupted, not created,
by the fall. They were created by God.” Think of a puzzle—men and women are cut
differently, made for different purposes, each piece perfectly fitting together
to create a complete picture. Piper adds, “The tendency today is to stress the
equality of men and women by minimizing the unique significance of our maleness
or femaleness. But this depreciation of male and female personhood is a great
loss.” And that it is.
In Proverbs 31, Solomon describes the characteristics of a
wife of noble character. I’m going to take a bit of liberty here and consider
these to be characteristics of all noble women (wives or not). Not only is she
described good and virtuous, she’s strong, powerful and just. She serves her
family and her community. She’s wise and fearless. Her husband seeks her
counsel and her respect. She owns and tends her own land. She fears God and
seeks him. I want to be this woman! She’s feminine in every sense of the word
and serves her family and her God. She’s commanding and submissive; a leader
and a server. And most importantly, her heart beats for God as she walks in the
roles he created for her.
Pressfield closes his ‘Women First’ chapter with this: “The lioness
hunts. The alpha female defends the wolf pack. The Warrior Ethos is not, at
bottom, a manifestation only of male aggression or of the masculine will to
dominance. Its foundation is society-wide. It rests on the will and resolve of
mothers and wives and daughters—and, in no few instances, of female warriors as
well-to defend their children, their home soil and the values of their
culture.” Ladies, there is no doubt that we are our own kind of warriors,
lionesses who have just as much of a God-created role to fight to the death for
Truth. I’m convinced there’s something worse than dying. It’s not living for
something worth dying (or worth roaring) for.
Amanda Brown is on staff with the Women’s/Community Team at
Flatirons.
Wow Amanda, you have been blessed with a skill for writing. I enjoyed your entry and look forward to reading more from this blog - in the meantime I will try to roar!
ReplyDeleteBravo! Clap, Clap, Clap! I want to read this again and again and again! The Jack and Jill series was an awesome one! Women in particular have been drinking from the wrong well for a long time. Who and where do I get my significance from. The world tells us such conflicting things, it's no wonder we're confused! And with women not understanding who or what they were really created to be, we begin to emasculate our men in the process. Proverbs 31 does tell it like it is, doesn't it?! How beautiful! Speaking of Beautiful, I suggest reading Ransomed Heart's "A Beauty Worth Pursuing". It includes the description of Ruth and she may have been a lovely, strong woman, her unrelenting courage and vulnerbility and faith in God is what drew Boaz to her! Roar On Beautiful Sisters!!! Jill Breedlove
ReplyDeleteok Amanda, you got me to bite, now what? I have been looking for a Womens group at Flatirons and don't see one. My ex is in 2 groups! Where do the women of Flatirons go to be re-energized so we have the strength to "defend the wolf pack".
ReplyDeleteHi Patricia. You can find ongoing community groups by checking out www.flatironschurch.com/flatironslist. There are a number of women's groups posted, with various locations and activities. If you don't see one that works for you, we'd be thrilled if you volunteer to facilitate and post a new one. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteAmen! I almost started cheering in my cubical! I try to take everything Jim and Scott have be talking about for guys and applying it to my life, and I feel like this post just summed it up. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI sure enjoyed Amanda's post. I love the idea of a discussion of the messages we are hearing. Of course Jim's/Scott's examples are more men oriented...not that we can't relate, but what a good idea to look at it from a woman's perspective! Thanks for doing this. I hope lots of women get involved in the discussion.
ReplyDeleteAs a strong woman who is also very heart-driven and family oriented, I find the voices about being a woman of God to be somewhat confusing. I'm also a leader, a teacher, and a speaker. Are there boundaries in how to use those gifts within a church context? I guess I'm always asking where the limits are, not wanting to be held back by theology that is incorrect, but also wanting to surrender to God's plan and design on every front. It's not so hard at home. My husband tells me that in a good relationship leadership happens in a circle, where each of us leads when we are in the position of expertise. I agree. But when I step into my giftings in ministry I hear opposing voices, often from within myself . . .
ReplyDeleteROAR!
ReplyDelete