...are being transformed into some of the most
important and influential parts of my life!
How did I end up here?
How did I end up here?
I have struggled my whole life with
feeling inadequate, like my story doesn't really matter and isn't important in
the grand scheme of things. Who cares what I have to say? I was recently part
of a small group that tackled this very issue in women’s lives. A certain
amount of humility in knowing I'm not the center of the universe is absolutely
essential. The problem comes when my self-esteem is low and I’m feeling down on
myself. That feeling is directly from the enemy. Our Father has told us we are
royalty, saints, co-heirs with Jesus, redeemed and free. We have no reason to
feel inadequate; He is all we need and we are made complete in Him alone. The
sharing of the women's testimonies proved that truth and grace changed my life. It
has been a process of God performing small heart-changes leading up to this particular
group that allowed their words to fall on fertile soil in my heart.
I
can finally see how God could possibly use the worst parts of my life to make a
difference.
If you know me at all, you'll know
that some of those situations in my life have seemed so grim, like they would
never be eligible for redemption. However, I can tell you that I now refuse to
let my experiences and tribulations go in vain for one more minute. I am
finally ready to accept who I am in God, knowing that it's okay to have had a
past I am not proud of. People like me are exactly why He came and are
the ones He can transform and use to go into the dark places. Places that
"good" Christians won't dare travel because that type of sin or way
of life is just "too despicable."
God rescued us from dead-end alleys and dark dungeons. He’s
set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much, the Son who got us out of
the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating. Colossians 1:13-14 (MSG)
My story allows me to empathize with
and understand people that otherwise wouldn't get to hear the beautiful message
of Truth and Grace. I can't tell you how many times God has put the exact right
person in front of me to speak truth into my life, because He knew I wouldn't
listen to someone else that hadn't gone through similar experiences. I am
eternally grateful that there were people in my life that never stopped showing
me and pointing me towards the real Jesus, even when I was in the bottom of the
pit getting exactly what I deserved out of life. I was so unlovable during
those times, yet God always provided what I needed, when I needed it as well as
who I needed, when I needed them most.
I'm tired of ignoring God's will for
my life and making decisions on my own. I don't have a great track record for
decision making and Jesus' is spotless, so I'm looking to Him for my orders
now. I will share my story again and again, without shame or fear, because even
if it only helps one other woman, it is worth it. I can speak openly and
honestly in hopes that my words and story will connect with someone else,
pointing towards Jesus as the only way I had and continue to have a chance of abundant
life, in this life.
So, during my morning devotions, I
have started talking with the Lord about these questions:
- Where do you want me to go today?
- Who can I be Jesus to today?
- How can I demonstrate to someone else the overwhelming
love that God has for us?
- What am I doing today to point my life towards Jesus?
Everything I do, I now do for Him. Everything I say, I now say in His
name, as a representative and ambassador of The King.
My final prayer has gone something
like: "Lord, please allow me to hear you clearly today and to understand
what it is you would like for me to do. I want to be fully connected to you
throughout the day as to not miss one opportunity you have prepared for
me."
If you have also struggled with
feeling like your experiences don't matter or felt like there is no way any
good can come from a certain situation in your life, take heart! I am proof
that a life that was once destroyed can be renewed, built stronger and more
beautiful in the end.
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have
peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome
the world.” - Jesus. John 16:33 (ESV)
Savanah is
a mom to two sweet kiddos and enjoys gardening, writing, spending time with
family and curling up with a good book & a hot cup o’ joe!
No comments:
Post a Comment