By some miracle, I woke up before my kids this morning. And, while drinking my coffee in the blessed silence, I told myself, It's going to be a better day today than we've had lately.
Then I prayed, "Jesus help me to not suck today. Please."
Well, so much for that. It's been a day. 🏼♀️
I’m 32 weeks into my third pregnancy, and I feel like the baby hormones have my moods all over the place. I will continue to blame them for all my crumminess for as long as possible. I've missed the mark more (today) as a dog mom than anything, but the day is not over. Give me time.
All this to say, it's a challenging season for me.
I'm human and sometimes grumpy and unpleasant. I snap so quickly over things so tiny. I get frustrated, and exasperated, and need the occasional time-out.
I don't like these things about myself any more than those living with me do. However, the dog is still cuddled up next to me, and my kids love me without condition. Every single day, no matter how much I feel I've failed, they still climb up in my lap and cuddle with me and kiss my belly goodnight.
I read something on Facebook a few months ago that said, "Be the parent today that you want your child to remember tomorrow." I love that lofty expectation I've subconsciously placed on myself, but lately, it's added nothing but stress and guilt to my days. Facebook has a way of doing that, doesn't it? Except for today, I decided it's ok. It's ok if this is the me they remember sometimes. I want my kids to know that we all have challenging days and there is no expectation for them to pretend that they don't also have shortcomings. Maybe, they will learn how to better handle their own issues from their front row seats to my trials and errors.
Honestly, it's my hope that they look back and see an imperfect mom who loves them fiercely, takes care of their many, many needs, and (though it's hard sometimes) admits when she's wrong, asks for forgiveness, and tries for a better day tomorrow. I feel like that's a pretty good Mom to be.
And let's not forget in the midst of any parenting valley,
all of the peak-worthy days.
Sometimes I kill it, and should honestly win a (participation) trophy for my incredible parenting. It's all about balance, my friends.
So in short, if you have days/weeks/seasons like this, too—you are not alone. And you are a great Mom. Just keep re-evaluating, adjusting, and trying again tomorrow. We can do this. And we are probably only slightly traumatizing our children.
Additionally, please Jesus, I might need a little more help tomorrow.
Hi, I’m Jenna. I’m a wife, mother of three, and lover of books, crafts, birthdays, proper grammar, and really delicious doughnuts. I’m passionate about my people, my Jesus, and a regularly planned girls’ night.