We're Not Meant to Live Life Alone

By Lara Veve

I have spent significant portions of my life trying to be perfect. The perfect daughter, the perfect friend, mom, sister, wife, employee… I mean, I really do want to please everyone and be everything to all the people I love, even those I don’t know. It is a pressure I put on myself. I’ve try to to keep all of the plates spinning and protect the perception I have it all together. I’ve been careful not to show weakness, sadness, pain, or fear.

What I’ve realized is it sometimes takes a tragedy, trauma or devastating circumstances to bring us to our knees and cry out for help. This is my story. It took my marriage being rocked to the very core for me to finally let go of my “perfect” self and allow God to begin to heal my heart and life.

I have spent the past six years trying to find my real self, and be vulnerable and transparent in my marriage and my relationships. Trust me, it has been a process learning to trust others again with my heart, my story, and my being. It has taken intentional action steps along the way.

Some ask me, “Why and how were you so quick to forgive and move forward?” Well ladies, I want freedom and joy and I know bitterness only holds me back and I don’t have time for that! Also, I am a mom with two daughters and a son and I am their example.

How did I move forward? First and foremost, I kept my eyes fixed on Jesus and accepted the precious gift of grace. A definite second to moving forward for me is the groups of women I am a part of who have linked arms with me and have said, “God sees you. We see you. You are loved and valuable.”

Being fully known and knowing others is truly beautiful. It is often messy and hard, but within that depth of friendship, exists freedom and joy. These women speak truth in my life, even when I don’t want to hear it. They love me, cry with me and celebrate with me. They know me.

I know it’s scary to share your real self and your story with others and this can be met with rejection, but for the past six years I’ve learned that doing real life with others allows me to become more like Jesus. The risk was worth it. And, if I am looking to Jesus as my example of how to do life, I see that Jesus did life with other people. He had 12 of his best friends who did life with him every day for three years. In fact, God has modeled this from the very beginning of time.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. (John 1:1-4)

Then, God made Adam and declared, "It is not good for the man to be alone.” So even before the fall of man, God still chose to create a partner for Adam. (Genesis 2:18)

Fast forward to the life of Jesus. “As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me," Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him.” (Matthew 4:18-22)  

Then, we see how the first church model groups. “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer…All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they shared with anyone who was in need…. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” So, we see the first church learn and take in the Words of Jesus (the Apostle’s Teaching) in rows, just like our weekend experience in church, and then see growth, change, and connection happen in smaller circles (in houses, around tables) taking place outside of the weekend experience in every day life. (Acts 2:42-47)

So, if God has written the importance of groups into this world since the beginning of time, I think they MAY be an important tool for us to become more like him and to experience the abundant life he longs for us to live.  

Take a chance! Link arms with some other people. Help create a safe haven, a place to be vulnerable, a place of TRUTH and GRACE, so you can become more like Jesus with others desiring to do the same.

I’m still learning how to not pursue perfection but instead pursue authentic relationships, and have found that pursuit is so much more fulfilling.

*Some of the Open Groups will be present in the lobby at the Lafayette campus 8/25 and 8/26 after each service. Stop by to talk with the Leaders. Group Registration will be available online until September 10^th.

Lara is the Women’s Ministry Director at Flatirons Community Church. Lara and her husband Eric have been married for 17 years and they are parents to three teenagers. As you can imagine life is busy at the Veve household, but they embrace the beautiful chaos of life during this season.