by Jamina Noreen
I’m 25-years-old, married for seven months and, for the first time in my life, living without a parent in the house. Yep, you read that right. I never moved out on my own. I went straight from the care of my mother to the care of my husband.
As I reflect on the last seven months, I can see that my life looks pretty good from the outside looking in – a dream come true. Woman in her mid-20’s gets married, buys a house, and has a good looking husband (at least I think so!) I’m grateful but I’ve had my share of disappointment.
As a little girl I never dreamed about my own wedding.
What I longed for the most, my biggest hope and dream, was that my mom would marry someone who loved her and took care of her. I longed for a stepfather that modeled loving a woman in a Godly way. Honestly, I dreamed of my mother getting married and me having a stepfather more than I ever dreamed of my own wedding.
When my now-husband started pursuing me I could hardly believe it. Not only because he was so handsome, but also because he loved Jesus. He let this spill into every area of his life. I watched how he treated others and myself and thought, this guy might really be able to love me and protect me. I’m grateful for my life yet my hopes and dreams for my mom have not been fulfilled.
My mom is still single. She is content. I’m not. My hopes and dreams are for her to experience what I have, for someone to take care of her the way my husband takes care of me, for someone to love her and look after her.
Recently, my mom told me she had a problem at work. She prayed about what to do and God provided a solution. Then she said:
“Now, I may not have a husband, but I have a God who never fails me and that’s all I need.”
I was floored!
My mom’s dreams didn’t turn out the way she had hoped, in fact probably the opposite. However, my mom held onto Jesus and everything He offered. Her hopes and dreams are to always walk with Jesus no matter what that may look like.
Even though it wasn’t in God’s plan for my mom to re-marry (yet – I'm still praying), or for me to have a stepfather, it WAS in God’s plan for my mom to depend on Christ who will never fail her. I'm in the process of letting go of my dreams for my mom and trusting God has the best plans for her, much better plans than I could hope or imagine. Sometimes we have to let go of our ideas of hopes and dreams for ourselves and others and let God's plan play out.
I love you, mom. Thanks for fiercely following and trusting Jesus.